Rumi

We are as the flute, and the music in us is from thee;
we are as the mountain and the echo in us is from thee.

We are as pieces of chess engaged in victory and defeat:
our victory and defeat is from thee, O thou whose qualities are comely!

Who are we, O Thou soul of our souls,
that we should remain in being beside thee?

We and our existences are really non-existence;
thou art the absolute Being which manifests the perishable.

We all are lions, but lions on a banner:
because of the wind they are rushing onward from moment to moment.

Their onward rush is visible, and the wind is unseen:
may that which is unseen not fail from us!

Our wind whereby we are moved and our being are of thy gift;
our whole existence is from thy bringing into being.

a few thoughts scattered here and there

As I went through a Sunday of mixed emotions some thoughts ran across my mind...

It had been one more crazy week and I had run like a headless chicken ticking of my to-dos on my phone diary and not finding one window to breathe...

Come Sunday the first of the charity dinners started...and I suddenly stopped short in the afternoon and told myself..." Sreya wait...when will you have time for yourself if not today? The next few days...weeks and months are going to be crazier...today maybe the ONLY day you may find to just breathe a bit..." And that was the moment...THE moment I not only decided to totally and completely listen to my heart but felt blown away by a strange feeling of freedom...I had set myself free from a lot...I have never felt this liberated in a long time...almost like I was standing in the lashing rains letting it wash away stress worries and cleansing me for a whole new fresh feel...my skin tingled and I laughed and danced through every pore...

I had deadlines to meet too and I also needed my time with the Creator to thank Him for all the days he had given me...and i just needed to walk down the streets feel the air and just feel this new found freedom...I did miss a certain someone while I felt so light and almost ready to fly...but there was a happiness and cosiness in missing too...of feeling loved and being able to love...how beautiful was that?

I for once did not feel guilty and obligated that I was not attending the event I had RSVP-ed for. I was ok for once to be part of the usual 30% that didnt turn up...the world would not stop and the party would not be called off. Some would maybe a bit upset...but that would definitely not last more than 5-10 minutes...and for that I had every right to be "selfish" (thats how its termed for time with self at times right?) and breathe in life for just a few hours...

I am someone who says "yes...of course" to every good cause...every event, invite that I can fit into the 12 sane hours that these events are squeezed in...and then the madness of a juggle with all these " yes I will" and I know I wont change that...but just for some days I will allow myself to play truant...it doesnt set trends...the world is too busy for that...and nothing stops...and from dust to dust we can allow us this feel of fresh dewy wistful fanciful moments...fantasies at times perhaps...magical and intense!

And just as I decided to get away from the "yes I will" to " me time"... there comes a courier all the way from home...from mom...a beautiful dress ,audio CDs, movies and goodies...as the festive season for Bengalis is knocking on the door...I miss my city...so my city comes to me...how lovely can life get? The touch and love of mom ...the lady who I admire and who keeps me rooted ever so often...if I had left I would have missed the courier...some moments are not meant to be missed and so life paves the path and thoughts that are meant to cross our minds...

What was even more of a sign was when after my time with the Creator I decided to just go grocery shopping ( Thats the ONLY form of shopping that excites me after books...some say I shop like a man for clothes and other stuff...I know what I want and just go pick up and thats it or if I see something in a shop window I will walk in and just buy it...why complicate with "going shopping" when its as simple as "am yours just pick me up;))!!!

(I cant loiter much and I cant go shopping with my girlfriends...and they know that!!!) Leave me in a bookstore and I can spend a lifetime...leave me in a wet market or a grocery store I can spend half a lifetime...the colour of fresh vegetables and fruits...the myriad hues of food, fresh meat, fish call out to me...and my fingers itch to get them home and cook up all that I can.

Ok...where was I...yes grocery shopping at Carrefour...and the strangest things happened...at every alley...am NOT kidding...at every alley I met someone I knew and had not connected with in a long time...and among them three dear friends...if these werent signs then what were?

The Universe proves itself again...and again...

And with all this positive energy what happens to the trolley? It gets filled with so much and more! So this week and the days after look like theres going to more than just a whiff from the kitchen...a place which warms my heart always...because cooking to me is a form of love...and savoring good food is as good as making love...the passion of food...the feel of being one with the spices the herbs...almost soul-some...if I may coin the term...

As I lovingly settle all the "ware" into the store and kitchen I finally tell myself its time for a bit of catching up with the workaholic...there are papers to be marked mails to be sent and documents to be sorted...but as I look at another long night am relaxed...at ease...feeling lighter and happy that the me I love got time with itself...the world moves on and wont forget me...

Ubin beckons at the next "time with self"...another place near yet far...if you know what I mean...a walk down the broadwalk through the sea...a walk into the chek jawa stretch and a beer with Doreen and Simon...my friends who no matter how busy find time for me with all their stories and love, when am on the island...

Life is beautiful...we just need to see...just need to love be loved and know in the end what is meant to be will find a way...

Being in love

Most times we equate being in love with another...why do we do so?

Can we just not be in love with the feeling of complete with nature and the universe...and anyone else that walks into our lives is part of that universe too...and we can be generous magnanimous in our giving of love...to that person...

THAT to me is love...the giving...the completeness...the feeling of just loving caring and sharing without social boundaries and boundaries of self and norms...

We as humans in our pristine core selves were meant to love and love without any text book definitions of it.

Who defines relationships anyway? A society that's many a times insecure and scared ? A group of people who decide whats right and wrong in love? Many of whom have never even realised what love is? They define how a person gives his or her feelings? And we continue living a life because someone else dictated its a norm? Are we living our life or theirs then?

Love is what the world is about...what the cosmic forces are about and what the Creator wants us to feel...to experience as we move from this life to the next. Nothing else do we carry with us than love...nothing else do we leave behind than love...money fame materialism creature comforts all are but strings of an illusory sense of complete.

Our basic human mettle can survive even without those...we have been proven over and over...

Love is about that first dew drop on the leaf as you open your eyes and step out...its about just that little bit of sun behind the clouds as you look up at the sky...its about the sparrow that flits and flies away as you look its way...its about the raindrops, the sunshine, the trees that bend to the breeze, the waves that touch the shores, and the ones that touch your feet as you walk and feel the sand, its about the wind the breeze the rain clouds, its about being happy that we can see and experience it all

Love is a walk in the rain...a walk down a broad walk in the sea...its about walking into the sea and feeling the salt sting if you have a cut...its about watching the cut heal with the help of nature...its about the cuckoo bird that comes once in a while close to your window and says ...its another day and I didnt give up...

Love is a song that brings a smile or a tear...its about the books we read and the lines we remember and smile a little smile

Its the smile in the eyes of a stranger...its a walk with yourself down a lonely path or even a crowd...just being one with yourself...

Its about sharing a coffee or a beer or wine with friends ...or just yourself...sipping every sip and saying...am alive and I can taste the joy in every drop that touches my lip...touches my tongue and trickles down my throat...Am alive and I can taste feel and experience...

Its about savouring food...every morsel and thanking the Creator that we have food to eat...and a variety at times

Its about feeling complete when we can give back to people much less privileged than us...it may just be a hug to someone who has never been loved...someone let astray...someone who feels no one cares...it neednt be money and donations that make one save that one soul...at times its just a feeling to share and say I care and am there...thats what it takes and thats all it takes...

Love is about all this and so much more...its a feeling beyond everything and we close it trying to define it within our walls of understanding of human relationships...defining it setting standards norms and "to-dos"...and disrespecting the feeling of love...of loving...

Love is about no expectations...its about a trust that everything will work out and is only for the good of all...and that forgivenss will release us all

And if we are lucky to meet someone who echoes all this...well then there is a joy unsurpassed in love and being loved...without borders of what needs done and should be done...the passion flows then and the passion fills us up with a feeling of complete and a whole...we give ourselves our feeling fully not for any end but just for the sense of being...how beautiful it is just to BE...?

Its about letting yourself go to live the way we are ...just as a little speck against the grand backdrop of nature...adding to its beauty by loved and loving to be alive...just letting yourself go to open up and just love...for just and only love and nothing else....

Try it! In this life for a start...you will feel every pore in your skin smiling and tingling and thats a feeling beyond compare...

The Truth about Lies

My friends who really know me...and I can say just a handful do...would know one thing about me for sure...I am a tough one no matter what life hands down...I have seen enough ( yes I feel I have) and I have stood fast with integrity and honesty. Thats where, no matter what life hands out I can still wake up, look myself in the eye and say " I love you gorgeous!"

Am not being vain about looks when I say gorgeous...what am proud of is I have a clear conscience.. because no matter what I NEVER lie...

When I love, trust and care for someone I do that with honesty and complete faith in the universe. I strongly believe what you give comes back...

Yes I have got a lot of hurt back... because I feel somewhere in my own blunt ways I may have hurt someone somewhere...but I still believe its better to hurt someone with the truth than cover up with falsehood and disrespect the relationship.

When I give in love...in any form...I give my whole I give my soul...and I only hope the other respects the same.

Because the greatest truth about me is...I can never ever be myself with a person who has lied to me...I do forgive and perhaps give only a second chance. Why? Well not everyone knows the truth, about what I feel about lies at the first instance...so a second chance is a must...a done "deal"....but thats the only seal...break the deal once...lose me forever...

I believe there is no white lie...a lie is lie..and each of us is built with the capacity to handle truth...we spoil the basic mettle of capabilities, strength and self worth in another person with even one lie...we destroy trust forever...because no matter what a lie can NEVER benefit.

Think of one time that you have lied...those who are reading this...did you feel good about it? Honestly?

Sometimes we dont have the courage to say the truth...thats ok...then dont say it...its not escapism...its being honest and brave enough to actually own up to the fact that you cant do something...but lying? well that's cowardice and escapism for sure...

So lets atleast be honest and truthful to ourselves and live up to that image in the mirror we see every morning...and be able to meet that person in the eye and say... " I am me. I am proud to be me. Because I know for sure am true to the core...what I do I know I do because I do with a pure heart and my full soul...to make myself happy and live life"

Lets not deny ourselves the truth the universe wants us to see...